Better Business Bureau Features Dr. Ari Novick in Guest Blog

Dr. Ari Novick is one of the nations leading experts in the field of anger management. His agency, AJ Novick Group, Inc. provides both in person and online programs for anger management for individuals, couples, corporations and teens.  He is also a sought after guest speaker who’s online programs are currently used by the NFL and Major League Soccer.

The Better Business Bureau recently asked Dr. Novick to write a guest post on their blog, which can be found here.  The articles addresses some of the lesser known truths about managing anger and controlling ones temper.

Two Simple Rules to Live by to Better Manage Anger

Angry CoupleRule number 1.  Take personal responsibility for everything you do, think, and feel.
Rule number 2. Stop blaming others for your bad behavior.

Is it really that simple?  Well, yah, it is.  It’s true that there are numerous coping skills to better manage and control anger.  I have taught these techniques to anger management students for years.  Communicating better, that’s a no brainer that most people need a little help with.  Becoming more emotionally intelligent.  Sounds easy, but in practice, angry people struggle with this.  Just getting control of our stress.  These are some basic skills that are routinely taught in most anger management programs and by therapists across the country.

I believe that before we start gaining skills we must first embrace these two simple rules.  Let’s explore rule one.  Taking personal responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  No one makes us behave badly nor controls our feelings or thoughts.  Controlling thoughts, feelings and emotions is a choice, a very conscious choice we all make.  One of the wonderful things that sets human beings apart from other animals on the planet, other than our apposing thumbs, is our large brains and high IQ.  What comes with a high IQ?  It is our ability to make choices and not act on instinct every time we get upset.

Let’s take a look at an example of this.  Lets say someone you don’t like insults you and you feel angry and decide to insult them back.  Then they apologize and you feel better.  Who was in control of your thoughts, feelings and behavior?  Sadly, it wasn’t you.  If others can make you angry and just as easily make you feel better, then all the power is handed over to them.  Taking responsibility gives us the freedom and control over ourselves and we can make smarter and more intelligent choices.  The simple rule of taking personal responsibility might sound simple, but it does take practice.

Now, I’d like to examine rule number 2.  Stop blaming others for our bad behavior.  It’s really easy to blame others for our actions.  There are several fundamental problems with this mentality.  The first is that other people don’t really have that control over you (as mentioned above) and the other is that when we behave badly the focus now moves to our behavior and not the topic at hand.  Blaming others is really easy.  When we do this, we shift all the responsibility on to them and its give us license to say or do as we wish.  The problem, of course, is that when we do this, the recipient will often focus on the bad behavior and not the problem.  This can be incredibly frustrating for someone that is looking to get respect for blaming others.

Here’s a case example:  Your wife comes home an hour late, without calling or texting you.  During this hour of waiting you’ve grown angry, insulted, worried and feel disrespected.  As the door opens you launch into yelling at her, expressing your anger.  Your voice is raised, yelling some non-flattering explicative. She storms off into another room and tells you to leave her alone.  Now your upset even more thinking “she’s the one who showed up late without calling and I’m the bad guy?”.  Sound familiar?

Well, you are the bad guy.  Why?  Because instead of taking control of your emotions and behavior, you allowed yourself to blame her for being upset and hostile.  She is now focused on your swearing and yelling rather than your justifiable complaint of her being an hour late.

Stop the blame game and do the right thing, by taking control of your own behaviors and stop giving yourself permission to behave badly.   Following these two simple rules might just be the game changer to happier and healthier relationships.

Ari Novick, Ph.D.
AJ Novick Group, Inc.

Dr. Ari Novick’s Presentation at Minor League Baseball Conference is a Success!

Dr. Novick presented yesterday at the 2014 Baseball Winter Meetings in San Diego, CA.  The presentation was titled, “Fan Conduct Class- Improving fan safety and the game day experience”. The presentation was made to approximately 100 Minor and Major league teams and educated them about the Fan Conduct Class program.

While fan ejections are lower in baseball then some other professional sports, there are still a small percentage of fans that do get ejected from games for behaving badly and violating the clubs “Code of Conduct” policy.  The Fan Conduct Class program is a new way for professional baseball to address this very serious problem in an educational way.  Fans ejected will be required to complete the simple, yet informative, online class prior to being legally allowed back into the stadium.  Fans will learn basic skills to improve their behavior as well as get a 1/1 tutorial on the clubs code of conduct policy.MilB logo

The purpose of the class is to, of course, improve attendance and ticket sales, increase fan moral and safety and make the game day experience as good as possible for every fan.

If you attended the conference or simply want more information on the program, please fill out our contact form at Fan Conduct Class.com

Ari Novick to Speak at Minor League Baseball Conference in December 2014

Ari Novick will be presenting at the upcoming MILB conference in San Diego in early December 2014.  He will be presenting on the Fan Conduct Class discussing how to improve fan safety and the game day experience through online education.   “The Baseball Winter Meetings is the annual gathering of members of The National Association of Professional Baseball Leagues, Inc. d/b/a Minor League Baseball, Major League Baseball and their affiliated parties. Known as the largest gathering of baseball executives in the world.”.

The Fan Conduct Class has been an instrumental program in helping improve fan safety for the NFL and MLS.  The program was designated part of the NFL’s best practice policy in 2012 and is utilized league wide.  The MLS currently has 10 soccer teams that use the program and is in discussion to also adopt the program as a league wide best practice.  The program educates fans in a variety of areas.  The focus of the program is to teach fans who have been ejected from a game for violating the stadiums “code of conduct” policy how to improve future behavior.  The class teaches skills in improving ones anger management and how disruptive behavior, improving game days stress management, alcohol awareness, stadium and security policies, increasing empathy towards other fans, and how to make ones experience at the game the best it can be for everyone.

If your involved with Baseball, Dr. Ari Novick will look forward to seeing you at the conference!

A recent review of Anger Management in the Twenty-First Century

Here is a recent review of our anger management curriculum:
Hi Ari,
I wanted to thank you for your thoughtfully constructed workbook, Anger Management for the Twenty-First Century. I have used your book with anger management groups and domestic violence groups and now with individuals in my private practice. It is simple to read and has some very helpful surveys that help to make it more interactive. Perhaps next time I am in Laguna Beach we could meet for coffee if you are open to that. I sometimes get down your way to visit my cousin who also lives in Laguna. I think I respond well to this subject because unlike some other areas of counseling your book gives very specific things to do to make things better. Also if you are in the San Francisco Bay area it might be productive to have you give a training at my old intern site. Think about it.
Cheers,
Dennis Y., MFT
For more information or to purchase, please visit Amazon Here.

New Parent Instructor Certification-Teach Parenting Classes

The AJ Novick Group, Inc. just launched a new parenting certification training program for facilitators.  Ever want to teach your own parenting classes or need some specialized training for your agency or private practice?  This new 40 hour parent instructor training is an ideal way to gain a powerful new certification in a growing niche.  Parent instructors are in high demand because there are so many parents going through divorce, separation, custody and other related legal disputes that require parenting programs.

Most state courts will require parents to attend either a parenting or co-parenting class as part of their requirements for anything involving children.  Most parent instructors are either licensed mental health professionals or para professionals with little training, but experience working in the field.

The AJ Novick Group has developed a structured curriculum using our client workbook, “Parenting in the Twenty-first Century, 10 tools for better parenting”, which every student of a parenting class will use in class sessions.  The training teaches parent instructors how to teach classes, set up a business, gain court approval and set up group and individual class session.  Click here to learn more about our parent instructor training certification.

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Learned?

A very interesting article came out in the New York Times this weekend on Emotional Intelligence and it’s application to early intervention among children.  The article discusses how social emotional learning can have positive impact on future out come.  Primarily the ability for empathy starting early is crucial for success.

“Social-emotional learning programs often rely on strategies from conventional therapy, like the ability to get distance on a feeling, or to unpack the deeper emotions that may be hidden within it. But fostering these skills in a child is a complex undertaking. For a child to master empathy, Jones notes, she first needs to understand her own emotions: to develop a sense of what sadness, anger or disappointment feels like — its intensity and duration, its causes. That awareness is what lays the groundwork for the next step: the ability to intuit how another person might be feeling about a situation based on how you would feel in a similar circumstance.”  Read more.

As a provider of anger management curricula, I know how Important gaining skills in emotional intelligence is for becoming socially aware and more attuned to others.  While anger management isn’t the single solution for social emotional learning, many would be surprised to learn that emotional intelligence training is part of learning how to improve ones anger.

United States Marine Corps Uses Century Anger Management

For the last several years, the United States Marine Corps has utilized the anger managementMarine corps curriculum written by Drs. Ari Novick and Tony Fiore.  The anger management program is taught on all 16 military installations throughout the U.S. as well as several locations abroad.  The ease of use of this program coupled by the simplicity of the client workbooks make the anger management program a smart choice for any large or small organization.  The military also utilizes the volume discount option provided on our website, so purchases of a 100 books or more get reduced by over 30%.  The anger management certification training can be completed online or through a home study/DVD option.

If you want to learn more about this program, or call 949-715-2694

Dr. Ari Novick Featured in Men’s Fitness Story on Stress Management

In the leisure section of Men’s Fitness today, Dr. Ari Novick was featured in a story on stress management called “Fifteen Simple Strategies for Managing Stress”.  The story discusses ways of better managing stress, which is often a contributing factor in many psychological and physical problems.

The story is by Maggie Parker:

When stress strikes, it’s hard to rationalize a way out of the hole it feels like you’re buried in. The best you can do is prepare in advance so that when you are in over your head, whether it’s from work, relationships, finances, or just a stalled subway car, you know exactly what to do to crawl out of that dark hole. To help you nail down a stress survival plan, we booked some time with three of the best stress doctors out there, who shared these 15 quick-hits for getting out of a maddening situation.

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1. Go Outside: Fresh air is nature’s antistress medication. Use this as an excuse to set aside time for your favorite adventures, like hiking, biking, or surfing. “If you like the activity, then you’ll be more inclined to do it more frequently, which will help ward off stress,” says Ari Novick, Ph.D., a therapist specializing in stress management.

2. Master Time Management: “Those who plan well tend to feel less stressed,” notes Novick. He suggests going at your tasks like this: Tackle more difficult to-do-list items early in the day, week, or month, and save easier duties for later in the day, week, or month. “We have more time and more energy earlier in the day, week, or month than if we wait until a deadline,” he explains.

3. Set Boundaries: Learn the power of saying no. “While most people like to please others, doing it too often results in overextension, which leads to stress,” warns Novick. Don’t commit to things you can’t or don’t want to do. You’ll thank yourself for it later.

Want to read more?  Click here